Monday, January 24, 2011

She Says

Is it Spring yet?

(This post was started a week ago. Then Natalie got sick for a week. Now she is better. I am sick. Booo Germs.)

First, for all you Easterners worn out by the bevy of snow we've received this winter, I would like to remind you of what I believe Ghandi once said, "The journey of shoveling one's driveway begins with one God-Damn shovel-full"

With that, onto the Natalie-ism...

Recently I was making French toast for Sunday breakfast. Natalie was very excited because as she put it "French Toast? I haven't had that for a long time!" As if our mission in life is to deprive her of tasty breakfast foods.

She asked to immediately get into her booster seat so she could await her special breakfast. After a full twenty seconds passed she looked up from her seat, very concerned, and asked exasperatedly,

"Dada, has my toast been Frenched yet?"

I spent the rest of the day asking Sara if she had been Frenched yet.

She laughed so hard each time I asked, that it was at least noon before I actually succeeded...

Monday, November 15, 2010

All I Want for Christmas...

Stay cool at Christmas, kids...stay cool.

Sara and I have begun our yearly winter talks: the absurdly lengthy discussions in which we make Holiday travel plans, decide what we should ask for, and most importantly, what to get Natalie.

Our negotiations over what we should request are much longer than they should be because when it comes to Holiday desires, Sara is practical (boring) while I am impractical (childish). So we debate if we should ask for various Wii games or a set of dishes. If only you could be a fly on the wall, you'd get so bored you'd hurl yourself repeatedly against the windowpane until you passed out. Then you'd smile with sweet macabre insect relief when you were scooped up and thrown outside to the birds.

When our discussion turns to Natalie it is less a debate about what she wants and more about what she actually needs. She is the only grandchild and the only niece/nephew on either side of our families, so she doesn't lack for much. In fact, we may need to add a wing to the house in order to shelve her books (Damn you Dr. Seuss). Last year we asked for art supplies and dress-up clothes and after our families were through, one might believe our house belonged to a struggling artist who likes to dress up in princess outfits...

I may be a struggling artist but I prefer fairy costumes...

This year the inquiries about what to get Natalie have begun. I've been informed that Black Friday is less than two weeks away. Since Natalie is three now and totally anticipating Christmas, last night over dinner we asked what's on her wish-list.

Her response:

"Well, um, I think I might want a rattle."

This surprised us, so we dug a little deeper...

"A rattle?"

"Well, what I think I want is two Jingle bells, so I can sing that song. You know the Jingle Bell song"

"Ah" We said, smiling and loving our sweet little elf even more.

She then explained, "Maybe I would also like a friend for 'Barbie Bunny', (for the inquisitive reader: Barbie Bunny is a large bunny given to Natalie by her great-grandmother that they stuffed together. She was completed with a tiny little pillow-heart) cause when I play with Barbie Bunny she doesn't have any friends who like to play with her, so maybe I would want a friend like her, but wearing a purple outfit" (Barbie Bunny wears pink)

At this point we had melted into our mashed potatoes.

She followed with, "And also it would be good to have a baby-doll to go with the other dolls (she was referring to her set of nesting dolls which are currently missing the tiniest doll, which could be lodged under something or may have run the gamut of Fenway's intestines and currently be somewhere in our yard, or better yet the neighbor's yard, decomposing) cause we lost the baby for would be good to have another baby doll to go with the nesting dolls...for now."

She really wanted to clarify that this baby would just be a temporary substitute for the lost infant and not a permanent member of the nesting doll community.

She then wowed us completely by adding, "And I think that's all I need right now, cause that would be a lot of presents."

At this point I experienced my first "lahury", which I have coined as an abbreviation for any time you simultaneously want to laugh, give someone a hug, and cry. She was so serious and so adorable.

I could try to make some larger point here about remembering what Christmas is truly about, about remembering to ask for only what we need, about counting our blessings no matter how tiny.

Instead I'm going to count my own tiny blessing and give my daughter a gigantic hug while she asks, "Daddy, why are you hugging me?"

Because Natalie.

Just Because.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

She Says

Dada, you really need to get to work

So I realize this blog is becoming nothing more than the occasional Natalie Quote but it is all going to come together when I write the new bestseller "Ca*a My Daughter Says" ...

Anyway, I am wearing latex gloves twice a day...

What? Do you need an explanation as to why I am wearing Latex gloves twice a day? I can't just drop that at the start of a blog and move on...


I wear them in an attempt to finally rid myself of an annoying rash on my hands that has lingered for over six months and made the skin on my palms resemble my high-school baseball glove. The rash is a result of one of the medications I take for Crohn's. It is awesome. Sara has taken to calling me Lizard Man, which would be cool if I had Lizard like super-powers or a tail I could whack her with when she calls me "Lizard Man" and not just leathery hands that make me feel self-conscious.

Anyway, I've begun various drastic actions to try to alleviate the rash, including slopping on a bunch of Aquaphor and putting my hands in latex gloves for an hour while I do my morning chores.

The other day Natalie sat gleefully finishing her breakfast and she noticed I was wearing the gloves when I came upstairs. She paused and looked thoughtfully at my gloved hands. I expected a "Daddy, why are you wearing those gloves?" followed by a long string of why's that would eventually end when I collapsed from exhaustion.

Instead she said:

"Oh Daddy! I like those gloves. They are fancy"

I smiled. Sara keeled over laughing and once again we were reminded about the importance of perspective. Life didn't seem such a trial. Now, every morning and evening when I put on my gloves I smile and get to work, looking fancier than ever.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

She Says

I'm a, seriously, I am...

I promise a first day of school blog in the coming days but until then a few from the, "Did she really just say that? department"

1. While outside swinging this evening, I discussed the day with Natalie:

Me: So did you have circle time at school today Natalie?

Natalie: Yes we did!

Me: What did you talk about at circle time?

Natalie: The weather.

Me: Oh, that's nice, anything else?

Natalie: (pause to think deeply about the question).. Other serious things...

I'm not sure if I should inform other parents that their children are sitting around at circle-time talking about weather, what little Joey had for dinner last night, and "other serious things".

2. Before dinner Natalie told Sara that her tushy was hurting. This generally means that she has some dry skin on her cheeks, so Sara dutifully applied a little Aquaphor, after which Natalie remarked:

"Mama, I like how you did that."

Sara was gratified to know that she is able to apply lotion to a dry tushy in a satisfactory manner.

3. At dinner this evening we were enjoying a lovely meal (I am the chef and I say it was lovely) when Natalie began to explain what her doll, which she now is calling "Baby Roo" after watching Piglet's Big Movie on Friday had for HER dinner, which had apparently occurred earlier that evening. Natalie proceeded to list everything we had eaten the previous three nights (from Sushi to re-fried beans) at which point Sara exclaimed "Wow, Baby Roo, is a big eater!" and Natalie responded:

"Yeah, and last but not least she had some salt and pepper to go on her lovely meal."

Sara and I promptly burst out laughing and Natalie joined in, having no idea why we were giggling.

Natalie always has a way of spicing up our evenings.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

She Says

Getting ready to clear the room...

Recent conversation with Natalie:

Loud thbbbbbttttt noise

Natalie: Oh, excuse me!
Me: You are excused (resisting desire to smile)
Natalie: Dada, I tooted!
Me: Um, yes, you did. (barely holding in a chuckle)
Natalie: Do you know why I tooted?
Me: No, Natalie, why? (rapt with anticipation)
Natalie: Because something was tickling my tushy!
Me: I see... (excusing myself while I go to the next room and burst out laughing)

Monday, September 6, 2010

A Recipe for Soup

mmm, mmmm,..yehck!

Last night, while in the bath, Natalie asked Sara to tell a story. This is a favorite recent activity; having mommy or daddy make up a story, usually centered on our heroine who calls herself Emily, her friend Little Bear, and Lucy, her doll. Anyone who has read the Little Bear books will immediately recognize the cast...

Anyway, the main thrust of this particular vignette was that our heroes needed to make a soup. The reasons why they needed to make said soup were vague but a good storyteller lets the reader fill in unimportant plot details like motive...

So for those of you looking for a lovely Autumnal recipe I suggest "Emily's, Little Bear's and Lucy's Acorn Soup"

Add to large pot (which you shall never use again):

The ingredients are Natalie's, the notes are mine...

- 3 Spoonfuls of Mayonnaise (one may substitute Vegannaise if one is a hippie like Mama)
- 2 Cookies (preferably Chocolate Chip or Sugar but any cookie will do in a pinch)
- 3 cups Flour
- "A lot of Acorns" (Natalie explained "a lot" means 10)
- Chocolate, 1 Bar

Then Cook "A lot" and if your house isn't on fire or the neighbors haven't shown up to ask about the smell, enjoy...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

She Says

Natalie poses on her "big-girl" bed.

Natalie has a little Sesame Street book called "Be Polite" and, as you may have gleamed from the previous blog post, Natalie enjoys reading books on the potty. So today while she climbed onto her potty-seat she asked very brightly, in her two-year-old broken syntax way, "Dada, Can I Be Polite, pleeeeaaase?!"

I smiled and got the book.