Natalie's threats are no longer toothlessAt 29 (I've decided to say things like "At 29" or "As a 29 year old" as many times as possible before I turn thirty) I have no idea what it's like to grow a tooth. I had my Wisdom teeth out several years ago and those weren't so much growing as interfering with the infinite wisdom I already possessed.
I can imagine the process is painful. My ability to imagine how painful is aided by my always adorable but lately rather grumpy daughter, who is busy working her first tiny tooth through. I call this tooth 'big chomper' in an effort to make Natalie feel big and tough and because I have nothing to do all day but make up names for my daughter's teeth.
Teeth are a big deal for babies. Soon Natalie will be able to munch on more than overly steamed carrots, soggy Cheerios, and the dog. Soon she will enter a brave new world of crackers and cheese and she'll be able to make the dog yelp when she bites...not to mention Mommy.
Unfortunately, there are twenty more teeth to go. While the big enamel event has been relatively calm, Natalie has had her moments over the past several days. For example, the moment called Wednesday when she fussed every thirty seconds.
Why can't all these stupid things just spring up in one extremely grumpy day instead of a prolonged mildly grumpy two years at which point she'll finish growing teeth and start using them on children who make her angry? Biology is dumb. I propose that scientists research a way to get all teeth to grow at once. If they can do it with the Chia-pet they can do it with teeth! This is America Dammit!
The other "extra add-on side-effect of wonderfullness" that comes hand in hand with teething is extra drool. So Natalie is grumpy AND leaving puddles of saliva all over the house. If she was a thoughtful daughter Natalie would at least grow teeth with built in gold fronts so we could sell them when they come loose.
Which brings me to my final point. I hate teeth falling out. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. While I'm not the guy who seeks out the eye-surgery channel on TV, I tend to be able to handle blood and injuries when they happen in real life (perhaps because I've had my share). But I hate watching little kids wiggle teeth from their gums and I hate the parents who sit their and encourage it. "Oh..Oh..come on little Johnny give it a good wiggle. Let me see. Oh yeah. Oh boy. The tooth fairy will be visiting you soon little Johnny. That's it! Twist it on it's last little strand of flesh. What a good boy you are Johnny." At this point I generally punch the offending parent in the face or walk away while throwing up a little in my mouth...
Seriously, I have nightmares about all my teeth falling out and trying to put them back in but not being able to find them. I'm sure their is some Freudian meaning behind my phobia, like perhaps my parents never praised my oral cavity enough or some other Freudian type thing but I think it's just that I don't like to watch little kids yank their teeth out.
So, with regard to Natalie's exciting teething event I am left happy, fearful, and a bit soggy...
I can imagine the process is painful. My ability to imagine how painful is aided by my always adorable but lately rather grumpy daughter, who is busy working her first tiny tooth through. I call this tooth 'big chomper' in an effort to make Natalie feel big and tough and because I have nothing to do all day but make up names for my daughter's teeth.
Teeth are a big deal for babies. Soon Natalie will be able to munch on more than overly steamed carrots, soggy Cheerios, and the dog. Soon she will enter a brave new world of crackers and cheese and she'll be able to make the dog yelp when she bites...not to mention Mommy.
Unfortunately, there are twenty more teeth to go. While the big enamel event has been relatively calm, Natalie has had her moments over the past several days. For example, the moment called Wednesday when she fussed every thirty seconds.
Why can't all these stupid things just spring up in one extremely grumpy day instead of a prolonged mildly grumpy two years at which point she'll finish growing teeth and start using them on children who make her angry? Biology is dumb. I propose that scientists research a way to get all teeth to grow at once. If they can do it with the Chia-pet they can do it with teeth! This is America Dammit!
The other "extra add-on side-effect of wonderfullness" that comes hand in hand with teething is extra drool. So Natalie is grumpy AND leaving puddles of saliva all over the house. If she was a thoughtful daughter Natalie would at least grow teeth with built in gold fronts so we could sell them when they come loose.
Which brings me to my final point. I hate teeth falling out. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. While I'm not the guy who seeks out the eye-surgery channel on TV, I tend to be able to handle blood and injuries when they happen in real life (perhaps because I've had my share). But I hate watching little kids wiggle teeth from their gums and I hate the parents who sit their and encourage it. "Oh..Oh..come on little Johnny give it a good wiggle. Let me see. Oh yeah. Oh boy. The tooth fairy will be visiting you soon little Johnny. That's it! Twist it on it's last little strand of flesh. What a good boy you are Johnny." At this point I generally punch the offending parent in the face or walk away while throwing up a little in my mouth...
Seriously, I have nightmares about all my teeth falling out and trying to put them back in but not being able to find them. I'm sure their is some Freudian meaning behind my phobia, like perhaps my parents never praised my oral cavity enough or some other Freudian type thing but I think it's just that I don't like to watch little kids yank their teeth out.
So, with regard to Natalie's exciting teething event I am left happy, fearful, and a bit soggy...
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