A long time coming...

Natalie does her best impression of a fish

This blog has unfortunately become a monthly highlight show, breaking down Natalie's many accomplishments and my many blunders with little attention to detail. Before I get to Natalie's new and amazing talents I'll list my excuses.

A. Natalie has been busy testing her "Random Tantrum Reactionary Theory." The Random Tantrum Reactionary Theory or "RT-RT" states that one should throw tantrums at random times for no reason to discover how adults will react. Natalie tested this theory for two weeks around her birthday but has since lowered her testing rate. I'm suspicious, however, that she is simply analyzing her results...

B. She has also been testing the "Night-time Screaming Effects Theory." The Night-time Screaming Effects Theory or "N-SET" states that a baby should test just how many times a mommy and daddy will enter said baby's room at night if that baby screams really loud. "N-Set" also looks at the effects on Mommies and Daddies the next day.

C. We traveled to upstate NY. Keep in mind parts of Upstate NY exist in a time warp where high-speed Internet is non-existent, people think Jimmy Carter is president, and the number of cows are only outnumbered by the number of cow-patties.

Ultimately my best excuse is that I have been running-wild taking care of a little girl who is extremely busy at life. Changing and evolving every day. Here are some of her more notable recent achievements:

1. Walk around the Clock: For a long time when people asked if Natalie was walking yet, we'd respond with a vague answer like "She takes steps" or "Kind of" or "Look, she is a super-baby genius and just because she isn't walking yet doesn't mean she isn't a super-baby genius, so back off buster!" But now Natalie is officially a walking baby, toddling around the house at drunken speeds.

2. Word Explosion: Natalie has learned a ton of new words, most of which she doesn't pronounce quite right. She says "Mama", "Dada", "Hat", "Eye", "Guck"(Duck), "Bup" (Cup), "Cah" (Car...which she pahks in havahd yahd), "Ha" (Hi), "Raap" (Rope), "hum" (home), and several more.

3. Non-word Explosion: Natalie has not only learned official "dictionary words" but some unofficial words as well. As a poet, I fully support unofficial words. She has learned that dogs say, "woof, woof" and when she hears a dog in the distance, she barks along. She knows that monkeys say "Ah-Ah-Ah.", kitties say "houuum" (her odd version of meow), and she knows that Sarah Palin says nothing nice, so shouldn't say anything at all.

4. A Dad's proudest moment yet: In Natalie's first year of life, I've enjoyed many memorable events, from her first babble, to her first word, to her first step. But without a doubt my most hubris inspiring moment to date is teaching Natalie to say "Bawp" every time someone burps. It is undeniably adorable and, as a bonus, undeniably gets under Sara's skin.

5. Command Center: If it wasn't already clear who is in charge around here, Natalie can now follow my simple commands like "Bring me the book" or "Bring me a beer." She joins the dog in her strict obedience, now I just need to work on her mother...

6. Huggie!: In her cutest development to date, Natalie offers hugs on demand and also out of the blue. Nothing brightens an otherwise dull day like a hug from an adorable super-baby-genius.

7. Goo-Goo for Gaa-Gaa: Up until recently Natalie had not become attached to any one toy. She had favorites, but would often grow weary of even her most beloved play-things. That is until "Ga-Ga" came along. "Ga-Ga" was a gift from her aunt Allison, a squishy baby-doll with bright blue-eyes, who Natalie instantly dubbed "Ga-Ga." Now we just mention Ga-Ga's name and Natalie lights-up with excitement. She is very fond of giving Ga-Ga hugs teeters around the house with Ga-Ga in tow.

8. Eye of the Tiger: As mentioned above, Natalie has learned to say the word "Eye" and lately it's her very favorite word to say. This would be fine except for the fact that she likes to forcefully point out the words she says, regularly jabbing a pudgy little finger in the direction of our optical nerves. Sara and I have recently invested in some protective eye-wear.

There's so much more but Natalie is apparently testing "SBNOIWTAHT" or "Stop blogging now or I will throw a hissy-fit theory"

I better get my goggles...