As a new parent, navigating the magical and wonderful world of responsibility, I am always on the lookout for new ways to help my child understand and appreciate the subtle truths of society.
Like; People are created equal, love is a powerful and dangerous emotion, and always be on the look-out for short-cuts...
Luckily getting Natalie to sleep has provided an opportunity to demonstrate the final lesson. Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to walk and sway my way along the slow path to serenity if that is what it takes, but if there is some magical swath through the forest of fussy, then my feet will find its cool grass. (Wow...forest of fussy...really?)
So, I've fallen in love with our vacuum.
Natalie has reached the point in her development where she is willing to fight sleep. She'll give clear "sleepy signals" (eye-rubbing, yawning, glassy-eyed looks) and then when I lovingly pick her up and begin rocking her to dream-land (a tactic that worked brilliantly up until a week ago) she squirms and wails and looks at me with great disdain. As if to say, "you better come up with something better than this bucko"
Which brings us back to my new best friend, Mr. Hoover. Apparently babies love white-noise. It's been scientifically proven that this is because while in the womb babies can only get A.M. radio stations on their tiny in-utero boom-boxes and most of the time these stations come in poorly so babies are forced to listen to staticky talk-shows...
Armed with this scientific knowledge, I strap Natalie into her front-carrier and switch on Mr. Hoover. I've always liked vacuuming the most of all chores, probably because the big loud machine makes it feel more manly. Now I have a new reason.
By the time we reach the kitchen, my little bundle of crankiness has floated off on the river of loud but dust-free dreams. The whir of the vacuum like a gigantic baby-Ambien.
The icing on the cake is that when Sara gets home, I can brag about all the vacuuming I got done...(until of course she reads this blog...)
Now if only I can teach Natalie to fall asleep to the sound of clanking dishes, or better yet, the subtle whir of my X-box...
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2 comments:
So, Mr. Hoover kills not two, but three birds with one stone. To wit: clean house, grateful wife, and sleeping baby. Life is good, eh? Lee
"I've always liked vacuuming the most of all chores, probably because the big loud machine makes it feel more manly."
...MORE manly?
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