Diaper Defiance

Elmo and Orange Elmo (I haven't seen Sesame Street in awhile) aren't going to take it anymore!



Natalie hasn't pooped in four days (Editors note: I promise all these entries won't be centered around my daughter's bowl movements) the doctors and the books all say this is normal. Her little insides are changing and absorbing milk more efficiently so she'll begin longer stretches between poops. Still, the doctor wanted to see her so we went to the office (I can hear my mother's intake of breath as she wonders if her dear, sweet, grandchild is okay....).

She checked out fine. However, in order to help her along they prescribed Prune Juice. Yup, Prune Juice. I deeply regret that our daughter's first foray into the wonderful world of food outside of milk will be prune juice. What's next? Fruit Cake?

Anyway, while the doctors are confident that a little extra fiber given in the form of revolting juice should help Natalie's colon relax, I'm not so sure. You see, the doctors clearly haven't heard about the strike...

For years diapers and the cartoon characters printed on them had it rough. Brought into this world, they're happily packaged together; smiling little faces, fluffy little sheep, and happy little clouds. But they're soon and unceremoniously plucked from the flock and strapped onto a baby's bottom. Once attached, they spend their remaining hours waiting for the inevitable deluge that will signal their removal. To add insult to injury they are then discarded in the nearest receptacle. It's a tough life and now, after years of torture, they've gone on strike.

Elmo, spokes-puppet for the recently formed union had this to say, "We're not gonna take this crap anymore. We'll take the pee cause it's sterile but were putting our furry feet down on poop. Well, not on the poop itself...on the issue of poop...is what I meant to say."

Another outspoken member of the group, Dora-the-Explorer chimed in, "I'm not accepting any more of these little rug-rats' 'presents', I mean honestly who calls this 'presents'? Would you want to invite them to Christmas?!"

Indeed the anti-poopimation league (APL) has grown strong, drawing support from countless children's characters like Bob-the-Builder and Cookie Monster, each of whom have strong constituent backings.

But unfortunately the group can't depend on any help from older generations, as parents and grandparents everywhere are outraged. "My son should be allowed to poop whenever he wants. This is ridiculous. I mean, it's what they're made for!" said one frustrated mother.

It is unclear when this issue will be resolved but a committee on Poop Affairs has been formed in the Senate. They are currently listening to the APL's demand that prune juice be banned, since as one angry little sheep put it, "We can hold back normal doo-doo but prune-enhanced ka-ka may be more than we can handle."

Stay tuned for the latest on this hot-bottom topic...